Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Today


Hello.  I haven't been thinking with my blog voice lately.  Usually thoughts pop into my head that I want to make sure I write about or pictures I want to show.  Lately it has been a little of survival mode.  ...and I don't like it.  I think, does my blog really need another post about the struggle?  The answer is no...but I am who I am and this is where I am.  ...but rest assured their is an abundance of good in the struggle.

Our family is definitely in a season of change.  There is an underlying uncertainty about what lies ahead.  I think next year we will be able to relax a little more.  I think Rod and I have been doing a good job of trying to make the school adjustment easy on the kids.  They enjoy it and are doing great even though at times they show how tired they are (and for sure we show how tired we are :)  We are two months into school and we have over half our participation hours so I think we can relax a little on that front.  

Yesterday was 6 months ago that I miscarried.  It seems like last month.  One thing for sure I will carry this joy and grief with me always.  It was at the three month mark, July 8th to be exact, after the grace to thank God had left, after the misplaced anger left, after the depression left, I was able to write this...

I believe there was no mistake, no failure, Elizabeth's purpose was to go
straight to God without blemish.  We were created to bring this about.

God is so good.  I need to trust Him more and enjoy the goodness He gives.  Something to celebrate and to be thankful for were the birthdays of our two Goddaughters yesterday - Happy Birthday!

"Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine, I'll taste your strawberries, I'll drink your sweet wine.  A million tomorrows shall all pass away, ere I forget all the joy that is mine today."

5 comments:

sequin said...

I wish I could be there to help with the struggle - and yes it is a struggle. Elizabeth was a blessing - make no doubt about it. This true joy will be experienced at a later time. Until then, what an appropriate song for the entry. I can see how and why it was one of Mom's favorite.

Lisa said...

I wonder how the Angels celebrate when a pure soul joins heaven? Oh the celebration that there must be! If we could only have a glimps, how we would see things differently in this life. Elizabeth will always be a blessing to our family. She was loved because she was, not for anything that she did. How blessed she is!

Georgiann said...

I didn't have time to leave you a comment on this post last night when I was here,but read your post and thought of you as I got ready for bed. I pray that God blesses you with another pregnacy. I too want another baby.... I have never had to feel the sting of a loss,I pray I never have too,but I know that it will happen sometime in my life. One is never ready for it~I will keep you in my prayers.

Thank you for your blog friendship..."SEE" you soon.

In Christ,
Georgiann

Georgiann said...

I was reading over this post again and wanted to tell you I really love this picture.
You can reply to my comments here on the same thread so we can talk back and forth on your topic!
It is ok to talk about strugle,thats what makes us real~
Maybe you what to write about your good times,or the things God is teaching you as you help your friend Karen with the loss of her husband?
Write me back here on this thread~ I will check back to see if you reponded!??

Peace in Christ,
Georgiann

Trudy said...

Hi Georgiann. I think this may be the comment you were referring to in one my more current posts. Karen and the children are doing as well as can be expected. They have now moved in with her parents in a different state until they are strong enough on their own. Karen has incredible strength and is a great mother. Keep them in your prayers.

As for my struggle, well I will definitely speak of it from time to time here. I think God is TRYING to teach me some patience and to trust in Him!!! "Jesus I trust in You"

One thing I have learned...God knows best and there are things I don't understand that He does. thanks for the comment.